So I sent these questions to etrain69 and edited his answers for length and content. Hope everyone enjoys this peak into the eccentric mind of etrain69.
Etrain11: So Mr. 69, thanks for taking the time to answer some questions from the trainstation, I know you have a pretty busy schedule.
Etrain69: thanks train, you know I would do anything for you. And I mean that as sexually as possible.
Etrain11: Alright Mr. 69, first and foremost I’d like to ask you, who are you? And if you won’t tell us why are you keeping your identity a secret?
Etrain69: Look ET, you know I’m not gonna reveal my identity, then I would lose a lot of my fan appeal. People love a good mystery, why do you think Lobster was such a popular guy (or girl, the debate is still out on that one train). But here’s the biggest reason not to drop the shadow of anonymity: you lose your ability to say whatever you want. That was your problem train you got too soft. You started to realize you were famous and you stopped telling it like it is and started trying to kiss up to all the good runners who you were sort of friends with in reality. You can’t do that, train, that’s why you gotta keep your identity a secret. Like right now I could say Dan Jaskowak is an overrated punk and it wouldn’t matter because he has no idea who I am. But I don’t think that Dan don’t worry.
Etrain11: Out of poster’s right now who post on penntrack, where do you think you rank?
Etrain69: Let’s face it, train, I’m easily the best. You don’t post anymore, 11, so I got no competition. I’ve got an extensive wealth of knowledge from before I was even in high school that most of these guys don’t even have about the runners in the game right now.
Etrain11: What is your opinion of runthrowjump?
Etrain69: Well obviously Run DMc is pretty awesome. He posts on there like all the time and he wants to be the best in the game and certainly asks plenty of questions to try to achieve that goal. He just needs to ask a few less questions and give a few more assertive answers. I’m sure you were a little timid when you first entered the scene too, 11, so he will grow into his own, but if he’s going to be the best he needs to be a cocky SOB just like me. The only thing that accepts me is his name is too long to become one of the greatest ev. Runthrowjump? Its just more of a mouthful than your d*** (edited for content) etrain. Im surprised Run DMc hasn’t caught on, I think its awesome, but RTJ can do for now.
Etrain11: Who do you think is the favorite to win states in XC?
Etrain69: Well now ET you can phone home all you want but I like to keep my picks a little closer to the vest than that. I have to ask though etrain, Quinn Devlin seems pretty low on your rankings compared to mine and some other guys, are you mad because he gave runthrowjump a shout out in a penntrack article but not you? Have you ever gotten a shout out in a penntrack article?
Etrain11: Why make an account called etrain69 right after I retire?
Etrain69: Well I thought this would be pretty obvious train, but here’s what I got. I was a young buck then, just a freshman living in PA trying to find his way around the new cross country courses, but I saw the rankings and the blog and everything and I knew this guy was a guy who had his ish together. So imagine the horror in this little boy when his role model pulls the rug out from underneath me and leaves me cold and alone lying like a drunk kid on the bathroom floor. Well I couldn’t stand seeing penntrack led by a bunch of confused, lost puppies so I stepped in. I made an account and basically just said what you would say in the same spot with a little bit of flair and cocky attitude because that’s just the way I am. I’m no troll, I love track and I want to see penntrack not fall into an abyss of uncertainty.
Etrain11: Alright last question, even though I think I already know the answer, what does WWED stand for?
Etrain69: What Would Etrain Do. It’s like What Would Jesus Do, 11, except for I put in your name instead of Jesus. Its just supposed to be funny so if anyone is pissed about take a chill pill. Its my version of the running commandments I guess.
Big thanks to etrain69 for helping us out. Hope this was enlightening.
-train
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